I don't want to go to the su anymore

first,
it IS incredibly cool
and I am so grateful
for all the projects
I got to do
because of uca

I am really lucky,
you see
I went to uni
for almost a year
without going
I did learn an incredible lot
and hope I did a good job
helping with anything I could

I met some inspiring people
and I am so happy
for everybody
I got to share this with.

second,
as cool as It was to get involved
and be invited to parties and events
beyond my mind how this all happened
I did feel very out of place most of the time
like I was there but didn’t belong

crowds and the social sides
because of some faded scars
still scared me a lot
but this year I managed
to stay and heal
to face that fear
….I think
like, dude, I’m still here
and I’m still going
although I got the feeling thing recently
that I’m half way out of here already
well in prep for a new adventure..

last,
I’m okay with that, now
because I don’t think I’ll find
my full to the brim heart
in the middle of the su dance floor
smashed up with alcohol

I don’t even understand what this
whole stunt was about
other than a constant pull in my heart
that I wanted to be there

one very wise friend
said something at beginning
of this very strange year
that he didn’t want cool
but warm people here
and I feel that so so much right now

it wasn’t bad
i’m not saying that
but…
I don’t want to go to the su anymore

I’d rather go to the hill
to catch a shooting star again
just remind me to make a wish this time!
coz last time, I didn’t

rebellionElyna Winters