the gap year I never had

let yourself rest when you need to. everything will still be there when u wake up again.

sleep. dream. reassess. it’s all yours.

I was fighting a lot. to paddle out of a downward spiral.
Now, sitting on the shore, as much as i’d love to ride the waves again… i’m incredibly exhausted and terrified of them as per this minute.

I was knocked off my board you see. waay before I was taught how to swim. but I figured it out, I guess.. I mean, I didn’t drown? but now i’m just staring, staring at this ocean of mess and beauty and I cannot figure it out. Maybe the adrenaline rush that kept me moving, burnt my system out… for now.

~~~

Elyna Winters